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To get our telephone service you must get one of our PLAN C qualified telephones. We offer these phones so that you can use our 3 wire tragic analog system. Our techs come to your home and rip out the existing phones from the walls. The phones are thrown into an incinerator immediately to keep the public from using them on our private network.
Huge triple thick cabling is wired from a nearby outhouse to your home to provide the phone service from a secured satellite uplink. Our signals are a complicated set of alternating frequencies that can never экскурсия в дом Пашкова в Москве be tracked or blocked. The outhouse and the cabling makes your hovel look like a disastrous compound and the property begins to smell.
Our telephones have secret codes and other unknown or mislabeled buttons on them to keep track of calls for all fuming customers. You have your regular set of number keys plus several grey colored buttons. The phones come in 2 colors, black and off black. The keys are white except for the grey keys. Our techs decide what room gets what color. Each household is allowed to have up to 3 phones. If you try to sneak in another phone to your hovel, your phone service shuts off immediately and you will never be able to use local telephone service again.
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